Friday, 28 June 2019

A little trip to Yorkshire

For at least two years Kate and I have been trying to get together, but life (and death), dogs, work, weather, health and goodness knows what else always derails our provisional plans.  So why should our tentative arrangements to meet in late June be any different?  It would have been so easy to call off a quick trip in Bill, she would have understood that I feel so crap right now . . .

But I went, even though I didn't feel like it.  And the planets aligned.  The weather was fabulous, the campsite was a delight and my stroll with Kate and Miss Moss was one of the nicest five miles I have walked in a long while.  We took our shoes off and splashed through a stream "just because we could" even though there was a clapper bridge just a few feet away, we chatted and laughed, we probably got too much sun, and her dear silly dog was fabulous company.

Perfect lunch stop provided by Nature.  Photobombing provided by Moss:

It was rather special; I could very easily fall in love with North Yorkshire, nah, scrub that, I think I already have.

The only noise at the farm-based campsite was birdsong, and the occasional whiny from a beautiful ebony mare with her three-month old foal.

Back home for what is threatening to be the hottest weekend of the year for the south of England, but it will be much cooler here whilst I think about the housework  :-)

Friday, 21 June 2019

It's all downhill from here

The Wheel turns and Summer solstice is here again.

At 16.54 today our little home planet was as close to our star as it can get.  From now our beleaguered little lump of rock will travel further and further from the warmth and life provided by the sun and every day, although imperceptible at first, there will be a little less light and a little more dark.

But in reality this year the darkness started at Bag End on 25th February, but it's been getting dimmer and duller since my last trip away in the campervan.  When I got back from Scotland the wheels did not completely come off, but the tyres are definitely not roadworthy and I have sunk into what I expect others would label as depression.  I don’t care for labels, I feel how I feel and I know why I feel this way.  I want Daisy back, I feel utterly dreadful and bereft and I cannot have Daisy back.  I cannot have what I want, ergo I am miserable.  There, who needs hours of counselling?  I am not a complete idiot, I know this will pass and until it does I just bimble along very quietly.  M. is supportive and understanding, but he lost a dear friend too.

Breakfast at Sale Fell:

Trying to keep the garden straight but it is a chore this season.  Much reading, occasional moments of tidying up, scanning old photos and decluttering, far too much time wasted playing mindless games on the iPad.

Living next to the most beautiful National Park in the country and not make use of it is also a waste. Today was better, I got off my backside and went for a walk - not very far, but it was good to be out, to be moving, and to find a wonky knee didn't grumble at all.  A little lump of land near Ling Fell, with lovely views, particularly of our beloved Sale Fell.   We've been trying to work out how many times Daisy and I went there - stopped counting at 100, not really any point.

Friday, 14 June 2019

Planned, Unplanned, Future Plans

Planned for this week was another trip in the campervan, a week continuing the coastal journey with birdwatching and relaxing thrown in for good measure. Fortunately I saw the weather forecast before any bookings were made:


It is ironic that one of the prettiest parts of the garden right now was completely unplanned:

Poppies, for remembrance.

Let us not sugar coat this. Deep sadness triggered by the death of my darling Daisy is more than just missing my hound. I was OK until I got back from Scotland, since then I have not been OK.

It hardly seems believable now, but this was taken on 10th February 2018.  Ten days before that awful trip to the vet to learn of her tumour.  I did not know - but I am quite sure she did.   

She was days away from death and I had no idea how ill she was; I'm not sure I am ever going to recover from that.

Standard treatment for mild-to-moderate depression includes being kind to oneself, getting out about about, taking exercise ........... As I haven’t felt like gardening and the weather has not be conducive to being outdoors, I have spent quite a bit of time on the computer and with books making Future Plans. I’ll say just one word: Birketts. If you don’t know what I am talking about, look it up :)