Tuesday, 13 March 2018

Truth

How often does someone ask you a question and you give an answer which is acceptable, rather than completely truthful?

The truth is that both Management and I had a great time last weekend, him doing astronomy stuff at Bellingham and me & Daisy doing not very much at home.  Management was able to go in and out of the van all evening, and much of each night, without worrying about disturbing me, and in the morning get up and have a slow start at a pace which suited him.

Daisy and I putzed around the house, I didn't do any of the gardening I intended, we went to bed very early and got up around 7.00ish each morning and had a lovely relaxing time.  There was sitting around reading, there was sitting around doing not much at all, there was even a little sitting in the sun:



And so it was this morning, after his shower Management asked me "So, what are we doing?"   As the Kielder Star Camp starts tomorrow the answer he expected was "we'll sort food first, then load the astronomy stuff into my car" or something like that.

But for once I didn't do the expected wifely thing and tell him what he expected to hear.  I told him the truth.  The truth was my back hurt, I'd had a lousy night, and I didn't want to go to Star Camp this Spring.  And you know what - he was fine, bless him; he didn't say "oh but you'll love it when you get there"  or  "but I don't want to go without you".  We had a chat and I admitted that whilst I never want to stop looking at the stars on a still, dark night and trying to get my head around how infinitesimally small and insignificant we are, I REALLY like my astronomy in daylight hours when the sun is shining and it's warm!

Modern astronomy is complicated, it is full of kit that needs to be fettled with, and modified, and customised, and adapted, and played with, and in the main - it's a boy thing.  I get so flippin' bored standing around waiting for some bit of software to allow itself to be coaxed into co-operating with another bit of software and then having cloud move in just as we're finally all set up . . .

Management, on the other hand, is a born fettler - he should have been a wealthy Victorian inventor.  He delights in seeing how things work, and if he can make them work better (most of the time he can), and has endless patience with it all.  He is also a night owl of the First Order and quite happy to go to bed at 3.00am.  Trouble is, you can't go to bed at 3.00am in a caravan without waking anyone who might already be asleep in said caravan.  And that particular person (me) has as much chance of then getting back to sleep as a snowball in a sea of flames.   And that particular person (me) wants to get up at 7.00am, put the kettle on, open the curtains and have something to eat.

The truth is that it's a whole big bag of incompatibility, and testament to how well we get on that we've successfully been to many previous Star Camps together😊

So to get back to where this all started, we did sort the food first, and then load the astronomy stuff into my car.  Everything was set nicely for an early start tomorrow when he got a Facebook message from one of his friends "I'm at Kielder, sitting outside in the sunshine".  I won't repeat exactly what M. said, but the end result was, knowing the campsite was open and we had a pitch reserved from tomorrow morning, he set off at 4.00pm.  I've never seen my car and caravan like this - it has always been me driving up to now.



He should have arrived by now and be getting the caravan level on its pitch, collecting water, and thinking about supper.  Daisy and I will soon be doing the same (minus the levelling and water stuff!)


15 comments:

  1. I hope your back is better soon, it's no fun with a painful back. Well done you for being honest, I probably would have gone and like you not enjoyed any of it. With the weather promising it to be much colder this coming weekend, I think my sewing machine will be out again.

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    1. Thanks Marlene, fortunately I know exactly what triggers a muscle problem in my back, and thankfully know what to do to remedy it!

      In the past I would have gone and as you said, not really enjoyed it. But that means I would have spoiled Management's weekend as well. This way is far better for both of us :-)

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  2. Sorry to hear your back has been causing you problems Jayne, I hope it feels better soon. If you really didn't want to go to the Star Camp then it was much better to be honest and say so rather than go grudgingly and have a not-very-happy few days - and I'm sure you and Daisy will have just as nice a time together at home doing as much or as little as you want :)

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    1. Thanks Eunice, I’ve heard from Management and he arrived safely, so I do not need to worry about him all weekend. There is no mobile signal in the area and communications are via a freezing cold outdoor payphone next to the showers! It is a wonderful opportunity for a digital detox. Daisy is currently snoring her head off under a quilt - all is well :)

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  3. All right!! I'd bet even money that he feels the same way sometimes, perhaps even this time and is quite happy to trundle off by himself to spend time with his buddies.

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    1. Well Sue, he hasn’t seen this post yet . . . (No mobile signal and all that!) but I think being on his own will make it much easier for him. He doesn’t have to worry about how late he goes to bed, or how late he gets up, or if Daisy is OK, or if I am bored. He doesn’t even have to worry about what to have for supper - everything is prepared and in the fridge, all he has to do is put the oven on :). Aren’t you flying solo this weekend as well?

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    2. Not this weekend, but DH is leaving on Sunday which is a day earlier that originally planned.

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  4. There's nothing wrong with doing you're own things if that is what suits you best. Enjoy your time with Daisy.

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    1. Thanks Eileen, I guess because we have always gone to Kielder together it seemed odd . . .

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  5. Well done, we have had similar interactions when it is almost a revelation to say the truth about a shared hobby or shared like only to find that despite there being nothing wrong with it - we held it at different values or enjoyment levels. hope your back sorts itself out soon besides there is nothing more healing than putzing (love that word) in the sun to make you feel better - ask Daisy! xx

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    1. As always Kate, you've absolutely hit the nail on the head - we hold the activity at different enjoyment levels. M. happily spends hours with the telescope or taking photos, I am quite content with half an hour laying on a sun lounger with binoculars :)

      Unfortunately there may not be much sunbathing today - it's distinctly chilly.

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  6. I'm much happier when my husband furtles with carpentry without me and I go to knit and natter without him, having time apart doing our own thing means we both appreciate the time together without boring each other with our obsessions.
    I hope your back gets better soon.

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    1. Thanks K. I honestly think it's unhealthy to do everything joined at the hip. We have elderly neighbours who cannot seem to even put the bins out unless they are together. Back much better, thank you :)

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  7. Hope you both enjoy whatever you're doing & as I'm again on catchup & wanted to do some emails, (my webmail is playing up at the moment), I'm reading blogs instead. Yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly, but can't seem to put into practice what I say to others or do as you are. Have you the whole weekend at home? Take care & huggles.

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    1. Hi Susan, sorry you are having technology gremlins. Hope you are enjoying your blog catch up, xx

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