Thursday, 21 July 2016

Absent Without Leave

It has been pointed out that this little blog is looking nearly as neglected as the large beds in my Cottage Garden . . . and I am very surprised how quickly I lost the habit of blogging, especially when I've managed to keep up a fairly steady stream for the past 8 years.

There is no one specific reason why I've fallen off the blogging wagon, just the usual cumulative effect of real life getting in the way of playing with the computer.  The biggest factor, however, has been my ongoing complete and total exhaustion.  I debated whether or not to write about this publicly but this is more honest; the honesty bit comes from my claim that the Bag End blog has always been a personal journal.

Winston Churchill said that history is written by the victors, of course we all know that he meant 'a version of history is written ....'  And such it is with a blog - it is merely a snapshot into or a version of the writer's life, rarely the whole entire messy nine yards.  But if I chose to ignore or otherwise pretend that the last couple of years have not been horrible healthwise then how much validity does this have when I look back in future years?  (And I know I will look back on the blog, because I regularly re-read sections from the early years and shake my head at how much we've done since moving here).

So, for those who have not already clicked away grumbling "too much information", I haven't been blogging because I have been too bloomin' tired.

I've been tired to the point of barely being capable of functioning because I haven't been sleeping for more than 3 or 4 hours each night.

I haven't been sleeping because I am in pain.

I am in pain because I've knackered my shoulders;  the most likely cause of the damage is doing far too much for far too long to create the garden.

If anyone would like to stand up and say "I told you so" then please form an orderly queue.  We'll be bringing drinks and buns to those of you at the back because it's a long queue, you might be waiting a long time for your turn. 

Right, that's enough belly-aching; ever the optimist I am moving forward.  Since about 2012 I have had shoulder problems - and I have also had one mis-diagnosis after another from the NHS.  At the end of March I went to see Liz Hunter, a highly respected private physio in Cockermouth and she not only came up with a diagnosis that made sense, but a treatment plan that is working !!!   Now whilst Liz is wonderful, she's not a magician so complete recovery is going to take time but I am definitely getting better.  This means I am sleeping a bit better - HURRAH!!!  because I cannot function on less than 7½ - 8 hours each night. 

So, to cut a long boring blog post short, all is (fairly) well, I'm making progress, Daisy is gorgeous, the garden is coming on slowly, and thank you to everyone who has been checking up to see that I haven't dug a big hole in the garden and fallen into it.

Here is today's little stroll near Lorton to prove that we are still in the land of the living :-)   Just a little bimble, 2½ miles up and down a track which used to be a road but is no longer maintained.  It was enough for Daisy who has aged a lot this summer, but I can write about that some other time.











Rubbish photos because I forgot to take a camera and only had the phone to hand.





22 comments:

  1. I had a couple of years with bursitis in my right hip and pain in my ankles for some reason. My doctor tried all sorts of things, but admitted that often this sort of pain just went away on it's own. And it did, after a few years. But I understand how fatiguing chronic pain can be, and being woken up at night from whatever sleep you can manage is exhausting. Hope your treatment continues to rebuild your strength.

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    1. Thank you Mereth, and brilliant to hear from you :-) I am glad your bursitis cleared up, it's a horrible thing and you describe it perfecting - the fatigue is almost worse than the chronic pain.

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  2. Thank you for the update. I was actually going to phone last night, but, like you, just lacking the energy. Maybe it was ESP that sent you to the computer. I couldn't remember what time would be best to phone. As for those photos, brilliant. The gorgeous gnarly old tree is wonderful and of course the views stunning and Daisy. Take care of yourself and huggles.

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    1. Isn't our t'internet amazing? My first two comments from the other side of the world :-) Thanks sweetie, are you counting down the days to August 23rd?

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  3. I remember trying to sleep when I did my back in. Or rather, pacing the house for most of the night because every time I tried to lie down, or even sit down, the damaged muscle would go into spasm again. So I feel your pain and am very glad to hear you're getting better.

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    1. Hi Jessica, I remember you saying how debilitating that was, and it really doesn't help when the one thing our bodies need to help recovery is sleep and that is the one thing that is too painful to achieve.

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  4. So glad you didn't fall in to a gardening related hole, your shoulder would never had let you pull yourself out ... then who would walk dear Daisy-dog?? Keep on healing, think positive thoughts, be more gentle on yourself and enjoy this wonderful weather xxxxx

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    1. Don't worry Hawthorn, at present I couldn't dig a deep enough hole to cause too many problems!

      I am doing/intend to continue doing all the things you suggest :-)

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  5. I do empathise. I have been having trouble with my eyes which means that often I have difficulty typing my blog and also taking photos as well as reading other people's blogs especially those with large chunks of solid text. I try to keep optimistic but at times it is really difficult - let's hope that we both get there.

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    1. Oh Sue, I am sorry to her you've got eye problems again. Very frightening and fingers crossed things improve for you.

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  6. Hope you continue to improve, so that you can enjoy working in the garden and get a good night's sleep at the end of the day. Life shouldn't be an endurance trial.
    I've noticed just lately that Dolly has aged; she's 7 now and is not as energetic as she used to be. She's always been up for a play with her ball, or another doggy friend, but now she doesn't react the same way. It's all about the food and sleep. I hope she doesn't end up with arthritis or anything like that, but seeing as she sleeps in my bed with the electric blanket and has a wonderfully varied diet, I think it will be a while before that's likely. The plus side is that she's so laid back with my little step-granddaughters, I still can't believe she's so good with them. She's hated little girls since she was a puppy herself, so it's amazing to see her cuddled up with the 5 and 2 year old. It's a minor miracle.

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    1. Hi Keryn, I am honoured to have a comment from both sisters {giggle}, thank you.

      Is Dolly really 7? I am so glad to hear that Daisy is not the only baby with an electric blankie and a regular spot on the bed next to her human :-) I am sure she and Dolly would have a right chuckle over how much their respective Mums spoil them.

      Perhaps she gets on so well with your granddaughters because she understands they are family? Our pups are probably much more clever than we realise.

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  7. Nothing worse than constant pain - clouds the brain, smothers life and distorts every day. So glad you're on the road to recovery.

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    1. Dani, I wish I had said that - you describe chronic pain perfectly. Unfortunately that means you've eperienced it yourself :-(

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  8. Thanks for sharing where you're at. The thing with chronic pain is that it becomes your norm only it's not normal and the rest of the world keeps bobbing along regardless. I feel for you, that little sleep, pain, not being able to do thibgs you love - it's like being pregnant, for 4 years! Glad you've found some relief for your shoulder through Physio. Take care x

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    1. Preggers for 4 years, that's worse than being a hefalump! But I have thought of you many times over the past few months wondering how on earth new mothers cope with being sleep deprived? Thanks for the photos :-)

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  9. hope you continue to heal xxx take care, be kind to yourself x

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    1. Thank you Tess, I am doing excatly what you advise :-)

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  10. I've been checking several times a week to see if there's been any new posts but just assumed you were very busy with the garden. I'm sorry to hear your health hasn't been too good and you're in pain, I hope you continue to get better and can get some proper sleep.
    Take care x

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    1. Thanks Eunice, it's always much appreciated when friends check up on me:-)

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  11. Definitely not rubbish photos Jayne ,,, beauties! Lovely to see you blogging again but not so good about the tiredness and pain. Stick at the physio, it sounds like Liz knows what she's doing and it is actually doing you some good! Lay off the heavy work in the garden ,,, I know how easy it is to intend doing very little and end up doing far too much! No pottering with the chain saw either!!!

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    1. Thanks Jill, I know you understand :-) You made me laugh about how easy it is to "just" plan on pulling weeds for five minutes and an hour later . . . .

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So there I am, chuntering on to myself, but it would be lovely to hear from you. Thanks to all who take the time to comment - it makes my day :)

and I always delete spam - my blog, my rules :-}