Sunday, 30 January 2011

Sam

It is with great sadness that I have to tell you I took Sam back to his breeder on Friday

This is not Sam's fault - he is a dear little chap, very intelligent, exceptionally good natured, a beautiful boy and wonderful example of a well-bred Beardie. This is not Yvonne and Peter's fault and it is certainly not Management's fault.

It is completely my fault. I believed I was ready for another dog but I am not. This isn't because I expected Sam to be another Ollie, he isn't and I really did not want him to be. However, I found it was an immense problem for me to have another dog in the house; I cannot articulate it fully so I'm not going to try. I kept thinking "oh, it's just because I am tired" but pretty soon I realised I was using that as an excuse to avoid the truth. It would have been easy to say "wait 2 months, 3 months, 6 months and see ..." but if I still felt the same way then it would be a great deal harder for Sam having to move to a new home when he is much older and that is absolutely not fair on him. Back with his mum and two siblings I suspect within a week he will have forgotten we exist.

I have let everyone down, especially Management, who liked having a little Gardening Assistant to play with outside, or to sleep near his desk in the study, I am so sorry my dear. I have let Y & P down because they believed Sam was going to his Forever Home. I have let Sam down too but I know that moving him this young is far better for him than waiting a few more weeks, a few months.

This has been an incredibly difficult and heart-breaking decision for us, and not one we took lightly or with ease. I'm sure you will understand that right now I cannot talk about this, it has been very distressing and I need to work out how to move on.

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